#1 Don’t Try To Change Him
When in a relationship, you need to take the person for exactly who he is, not who you want him to be. He is who he is, take it or leave it. Accept him with all his flaws and abilities.
During the dating period of a relationship, many women spot flaws in their guy or things that they just dislike, but they continue to take the relationship forward, thinking they’ll change these things.
It doesn’t work like that. For Instance, like the fact that he wears running shoes with dress pants, be gentle and encouraging.
Don’t criticize and make him feel stupid. Say something that makes him feel good and inspires him to make that change on his own
#2 Getting Extremely Jealous
A little jealousy is okay, but if you flip out every time there is a woman in his vicinity, then you’re making a mistake.
Therefore, before you go into a relationship with someone, try to understand the person. Know his weakness and his strength as this will enable you to overcome certain challenges in your relationship.
It is natural for men to check out other women, as long as he is looking at her casually, there is no need to get angry about it. Getting on his case shows you are insecure, which is a huge turn-off.
If you find yourself getting jealous whenever a woman is within his vicinity, you need to do an honest check-in with yourself.
At the root of it, there is either trust missing from the relationship or you need to build up your self-esteem. Men love women who are confident and secure, so don’t be jealous, insecure, possessive girlfriends.
This will make him think you don’t trust him, feel that you are immature which could lead to fights and bitterness. It could make your guy want to go out in search of another lady who will be able to accept him for who he is.
If you give him a happy, well-balanced relationship, you’ll never be insecure about it. What binds every relationship is ‘trust’ Please, don’t let jealousy kill your relationship.
#3 Making The Relationship Your Entire Life
Women need to understand that relationship is a part of their life and not their entire life. Nothing suffocates a man more than a woman who relies on him for everything, has nothing going on for herself, and is extremely needy.
Men love women who are hardworking, ready to assist when the situation gets tough and independent.
Some women cut off their friends and family as soon as they get into a relationship or meet them rarely, making their man the
focus of their lives, thinking this will make your man happy, it won’t.
Your guy begins to lose interest in you the moment he discovers you are a liability to him as no man will cherish a woman who is not creative.
Have a hobby, some passion, hang out with your friends and family, give a spark and don’t be boring. Even if your guy wants you to always depend on him for everything, try not to depend on him totally.
This will make him respect you. But if you are overly dependent, you will be doing more harm than good to your relationship.
Your man could decide to test your capability but might soon start running out of patience if there is no improvement. You have to be careful not to ruin your relationship in a bid to build it.
#4 Not Taking Care Of Yourself
It is a common practice by most ladies that once they believe they have won the guy over to themselves and they feel secure that the man is in it for the long run they let themselves go and feel there’s no need, work out, wear nice outfits or look good just for their man like they used to do in the beginning.
Women defend this point by saying he should love me at my worst, for my natural look, etc. It’s not meant to be so. Always look presentable, attractive as you were when you first started. Always have it in mind that, every guy loves their woman to be outstanding.
If you as a lady begin to look less attractive by wearing bogus clothes, using your underwear more than once, bathing thrice a week, leaving your hair to smell, not shaving the hair on your private part and under your armpit, you are making a very big mistake.
It could be your cleanliness that attracted him to you but when you begin to live below standard, you are indirectly telling him that he deserves better.
The question now is ‘CAN YOU TOTALLY WIN A GUYS HEART?’ The answer is ‘NO’ because if you begin to have flaws that cannot be managed, there are a lot of ladies out there waiting to take your position and do better than you.
There is this saying that ‘when a man marries a woman, there are ten other women better than her that he could still get married to’ and vice-versa.
#5 Being Passively Aggressive
Nothing drives men crazier than a woman being passive-aggressive when you look upset but say ‘nothing’ when he asks what’s wrong.
Don’t just say nothing and then continue being sad and weird, expecting him to force you into telling him; this will only annoy him because men are much more straightforward by nature, and it just pisses them off when women act all dramatic about things.
If you tell him nothing’s wrong and then frown and grump around waiting for him to press you further, you’ll just cause anger and resentment to build. Be honest and straightforward with him if you have an issue.
If it’s something he did, then don’t go for the silent treatment, tell him what’s bothering you, discuss it, and if it’s something outside the relationship, then let him help you by being your support.
#6 Don’t Be Clingy
Some ladies confine themselves to the boundaries of the relationship and expect their men to do the same. They become clingy and needy, not leaving their man personal space. Let him hang out with his friends, or spend time on his hobbies, don’t invade his me time.
When you try to glue yourself to him, you choke him and he could start avoiding you. They always want to be around their lover most especially when the relationship is new, they force it.
This is wrong because when you act in this manner, your guy gets the wrong impression of you. Some relationship coach advice tells us that it is the man that should go after the woman and not the other way round. You are required to behave like you don’t care about him and make him hunger for you, then he will value you.
Don’t force it, don’t be loose, express yourself freely but not to the extent of losing your integrity. Understand him, know when he is not in the mood to talk and don’t force him to talk. Know when he wants to be alone. Most guys don’t like to talk about their issues the way women do.
Instead, they prefer to pull back and work things out internally. Give him some space but be there when he needs a shoulder to lean on when he needs someone to talk to when he is depressed. Know how to enkindle in him the fire of your love and he would respect you for that.
#7 Not Appreciating His Efforts
As true as this is for men, even women tend to take their men for granted. When you don’t appreciate him, you are indirectly telling him that he is incapable or he is not man enough to cater for you.
This bruises their Ego tremendously. Appreciate even the little things he is doing for you, focus on his good more than his bad. For example, you have a date night planned, and he gets thirty minutes late but gets you flowers to make up for it and is all apologetic, but all you do is fight him for being late and ruin the date by being in a bad mood for the rest of the night.
If he does something nice for you to encourage him by being thankful instead of acting all snobby about it like it was his duty to act this way. Remember no guy is perfect or even capable of giving you every single thing you need.
There will be times when you’re not happy with something he’s doing. No matter how little what he is able to provide, try appreciating him by telling him how much he means to you and how you would love to spend your entire life with him.
In Addition, stop looking at the things he isn’t doing and look at what he is doing, and then acknowledge and appreciate him for it! The more you show you appreciate him, the more he’ll try to please you.
#8 Expecting Him To Read Your Mind
Women are more sensitive and nurturing in nature than men and might expect men to be the same way and just understand their needs, but most men don’t. If you want to be cuddled, don’t magically expect him to do so just because you think he should, tell him.
Let him know how you feel at the moment. Asking for a hug from him when you need it won’t kill you.
Men are not minded readers, so if you have a specific need in bed or generally let him know, and I’m sure he’ll be happy to oblige instead of him trying to figure out the reasons for your mood swings. Communicate your likes and preferences.
#9 Three is a Crowd
No matter who the person might be, keep your relationship problems as personal as possible. Even if you feel the need to vent out about something, which women often need to, don’t involve that person so much in your relationship that instead of making things better, you end up messing it up more by following wrong relationship advice.
If you two had a fight, you don’t have to tell your friend she might advise you not to accept his apology until he begs for it, which might push the issue too far and your relationship starts to crumble.
You know your man more than anybody else, you should know how to deal with your problems, be mature about it and don’t let someone else let it ruin them. This could also cause discord between your partner and your friends/family.
#10 Don’t Have A Negative Mind-set
Nagging is a huge turn off for men. Women should know that words like ‘always’ or ‘never’ are two extremely negative words to be used during a discussion, it will turn a discussion into an argument as hearing ‘You’re always late!’ will immediately activate his defence mechanism.
He’ll try to bring up evidence from the past to prove you wrong, instead try saying ‘I would like to spend more time with you, please come home early tomorrow, I miss you’ This will not only make him feel important, but he’ll also consider your request.
We all have bad days, it’s understandable. However, it’s in your best interest to try and be happy and positive. No one wants to hang around with a negative minded person. In general, we’re drawn to people who are happy and radiate positive energy.
Wake up with a smile, express gratitude, see the good in your life and in your relationship. This will not only help you in your relationships, but it will make your life better overall.
Just avoid constantly screaming, nagging, and taunting him.
Avoid the grouchy girlfriend syndrome by always whining, complaining, and being negative about most things.
#11 Don’t Be The One To Bring Up Marriage Topic
If you have been in a relationship for a long time, it’s but natural that you will talk about marriage and settling down at some point. But don’t be the first to mention it.
It could be that you might have had a conversation about this once but don’t bring up the topic again and again. You will be at a loss if your man gets irritated by the same conversation taking place repetitively.
It’s not that men are averse to commitment; it’s just that they take some time in taking these important decisions. Allow him to be the one to bring the topic to the table, let him take the lead. If he does, he shows how much he is willing to be committed to the relationship.
One thought on “Top 11 Mistakes Ladies Make In A Relationship”
great info, thanks