You love her. She loves you in return. Now you both are in a relationship. One day, you make a move, she declined and told you she doesn’t want sex. What to do now? Two things would cross your mind, either you break up because you can’t keep up or you avoid being caught up in situations that may cause any sort of intimacy.
What if I told you that you do not need sex to feel close and connected.
Every relationship is built on the foundation of intimacy. While sex is a bit technical, consenting, and short-term, closeness is an important factor in deciding the success of a relationship. You should adore the concept of experimenting with your intimacy and deviating from the norm. It doesn’t have to be sex to be intimate, after all. How many times have you found yourself blindly holding your partner’s hand, oblivious to the fact that you’re in love? Finding activities that bring you closer to your partner without requiring physical contact can make a tremendous difference in your relationship.
There are a variety of ways to be truly intimate with someone that do not involve sex. Intimacy often begins with the emotions, so start by strengthening your emotional bond. Allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner and practice honestly listening to what they have to say. You can genuinely feel more attached without having sex if you want to keep sex out of your relationship because you’re not ready or if you want to slow down your relationship and make it more meaningful.
If sex is the only form of closeness in your present relationship, I recommend trying these 13 ideas. You might be shocked by how personal each one is.
Here are some of them
Spend time looking into your partner’s eyes. It creates some kind of intimacy and closeness.
2. Spend some time cuddling with your partner.
Try skipping the intercourse and jumping right into the ‘post-act’ snuggling. A true sense of closeness can be found in experiencing the embrace of the one you love. Put on some music, relax, and take in the calm of you and your spouse together. Notice how their breath feels and how their heartbeat sounds. It can feel a lot more personal than you believe.
3. Discuss the most essential issues.
The most crucial discussion for couples to have is whether or not they want to make it work. The more serious the subject, the more intimate the conversation. Start a dialogue with your spouse about the things that are most important to you, your future objectives, and the things you want most from that other person. Understanding these concepts can help you feel more connected to your partner.
4. Together, we’ll dance.
Dancing would surely be on the list of things I do in my spare time if the people in my life were to make such a list. Dancing is not only a terrific form of exercise, but it can also be very intimate when done with someone else. Take a dance class or simply break out in a dance in your own kitchen; either way, dancing can be one of the most natural ways to feel closer to your partner.
5. Make an offer to help with something.
Our deeds might sometimes speak louder than our words. There’s a reason that ‘acts of service’ is listed among the 5 Love Languages. People value being needed as well as being heard. Observing the dishes in the sink and the clothing in the laundry basket could be the first step toward making your partner feel valued without saying anything. Not to mention the likelihood that when he or she returns home following a long day at work or accepts your offer to help at the last minute, it will end in physical closeness. But first, it’s crucial to understand how to achieve the same emotion through altruistic acts.
6. Encouragement and Appreciation:
Saying thank you for everything, even the small things, is something that a boyfriend should do for his girlfriend. Encourage your partner if they are trying something new.
7. Together, try something new.
One of the finest ways to feel closer to your mate is to do something new together. Sharing new experiences with your spouse, whether it’s something as simple as a pottery class or as extreme as skydiving, may be a terrific way to feel intimate without the physical act of sex. Trying new things makes you exposed, which can be both simple and exciting!
8. Touching and sleeping on the same bed.
No, I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about sleeping together. Curl up next to each other and fall asleep. It’s tremendously intimate, not to mention strangely romantic, to trust one other enough to simply sleep together. Touching your partner in a nonsexual way, holding hands, and hugging are all methods to show affection. You may lay on the bed and caress each other non sexually and talk about the first time you met each other. Give each other a massage. You don’t need to go to a professional, but rather give each other massages instead. It can be so incredibly sexy to have that man or woman rub all the tension out of your neck and back. Make it even more intimate and leave clothing optional — just don’t set any expectations of intimacy that surpasses a nice, relaxing massage.
Focus on just simply kissing.
Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost sight of the joy of a simple make-out. Keep the clothes on and enjoy the thrill of kissing without expecting anything more. Not to mention, going straight to the main course is so boring. Try something more innocent and see how connected you truly feel.
Do Stuff Together
You and your partner can engage in one activity or the other together. For example, shopping, praying and sharing faith, exercising, cooking, etc There is something to be said about the couple that chooses to stay in and save the 5-course meal at the fanciest restaurant in town for another night. No 3-piece suits and cocktail dresses required. Just you and your partner in the kitchen, wearing your comfiest clothing, and teaming up to put together a delicious meal can be beautifully intimate. Not to mention it shows where your strengths are and allows for a foundation of teamwork while one of you cuts the peppers and the other works the stove.
Engage your partner in deep conversation about things that matter. You could do this while sitting close or at short distances over a table. This creates a connection.
While sex plays a larger role in many people’s relationships, it doesn’t have to preside over other important aspects. You can build deep connections through physical and emotional intimacy without sex and create affectionate moments.
Share your fantasies
I never stated that other types of connection have to be fully divorced from sex. How often have you considered acting out a scene? Bringing a little bondage into the bedroom, perhaps? My guess is that you were too embarrassed to bring it up. Take a moment to sit down and express your fantasies, for the sake of both of you. You don’t have to do all of them right away, but it takes courage to admit, “I’d want to try this one day.”
Start a project Together
Starting a project with someone is a silent way of showing your commitment to them. You are letting them know you want to create something together and that it matters to you that they are a part of the process in doing so. Not just your commitment, but it can rapidly alert you to the strengths of your partner and how he or she handles challenges as they arise. It doesn’t have to be a total renovation, but perhaps a fun craft like a “365 Things I Love About Your” jar or a hobby that’s new for the both of you.
As you can see, being intimate with your partner in more ways than just sex doesn’t have to be complex — it can be as simple as cozying up for a long afternoon nap. Regardless, by challenging your relationship to find romance in places other than just physical intercourse, you are introducing versatility to your affection. With endless ways of bringing back romance, you can seek solace in moments of tension much faster than if you were to strictly rely on ‘make-up sex’ to do the trick.