When you hear the word “intimacy,” what comes to mind? To some people, intimacy is simply a sexual connection between a spouses. But is sexuality the only way to be ensure intimacy? Does it mean a lot more than just sexual contact between two people? Does it relate to something much deeper?
As a basic need, we all need love, attention, affection, and security. As emotional beings, these basic needs often make up the core of our happiness. From the moment a baby leaves its mother’s womb, through childhood, adolescence, and into adulthood, it has been shown that emotional connections are very important. No matter what our role is in the family, we all need care and attention.
But for different people, making a relationship or marriage more intimate has been a bit of a puzzle. Over time, people have put a lot of stress on how important intimacy is to the health of a relationship or marriage.
As a couple, you both want affection and love, especially when it comes to the way you talk and touch each other. Hence, physical and emotional closeness as well as soothing words aren’t enough. Instead, you should put in effort to show how you feel to the person you promised to love forever.

Forms of Intimacy in a Relationship

To fully feel love, affection, and connection over a long period of time, you need to show total intimacy. After that, there are 12 types of intimacy that couples must show each other all the time if they want their relationship to last. They all connote the various forms of intimacy.

Emotional Intimacy in a Relationship

Every relationship should be built of emotional closeness. It should be the foundation of every relationship. As people, we show and talk about how vulnerable we are in different parts of our lives. Being able to fully give in to each other’s emotional needs, despite each other’s insecurity, builds emotional intimacy between couples.

Trust entails the ability to share different emotions with your partner and exclude doubt. Trust is very important to the the success of relationships. It aids in building long-lasting, healthy and successful relationships.

To make this point clearer, we’ll look at what Dr. John Gottman says in his book “Sound House Theory.” His theory says that understanding each other’s psychological worlds is the most important thing to do if you want to have happy, healthy relationships. This includes each other’s hopes, joys, worries, and history. This is a clear reference to the basis of a romantic relationship.

In order to encourage this form of intimacy, couples need to learn and appreciate each other fully. Couples should accept each other’s vulnerability, instill honesty, embrace positivity, work on each other’s shortcomings, handle disputes efficiently, and show each other’s love languages. By doing this, you can get to know each other better on an emotional level.

How to Improve Emotional Intimacy in a Relationship

  • By giving your partner daily compliments and praises.
  • Through showing a required level of vulnerability in order to earn your partner’s trust.
  • By prioritizing the sexual satisfaction of your partner.
  • Through putting in efforts to break out of boring day to day routines.

 Sexual Intimacy in a Relationship

This form of intimacy is self-explanatory. However, it goes beyond the process of merely engaging in sexual intercourse with each other. Sexual intimacy entails the ability to share in each other’s fantasies, needs and desires. It creates a safe space among couples where couples open up to each other wholeheartedly about each other’s likes and dislikes without the fear of either being shut out or judged.

Sexual intimacy also involves creating an enabling environment where the partners will be able to comfortably communicate each other’s sexual needs, promote each other’s sexual desires and comfortably love and appreciate each other on the sexual sphere.

When it gets to that point, partners can be said to have successfully attained a peak level of sexual intimacy and satisfaction. Sexual intimacy improves the relationship both in and out of the bedroom as other attributes like general communication and trust is improved effectively.

How to Improve Sexual Intimacy in a Relationship

Bearing in mind that sexual intimacy is an essential part of bonding in marriages and relationships, it plays a huge role to the happiness in relationships. The ways at which this can be achieved are:

  • Holding of hands often
  • Allowing buildup of tension
  • Spending adequate time with your partner
  • Keen focus on affectionate touch
  • Engage in a variety of sex styles and positions
  • Make sex a top priority in the relationship
  • Vary in sexual patterns

Aesthetic Intimacy in a Relationship

This entails the ability to comfortably share and experience beauty on a grand scale together. This experience of beauty depends largely on your collective interests as couples. It is the ability to appreciate and experience what you both love together. It may be a walk down the beach or perhaps, a movie at the theatre or even watching the sky light up in a golden brown colour as the sun sets.

Aesthetic intimacy also entails the learning process of appreciating each other’s interests and taking turns to experience them together. By experiencing aesthetic intimacy, your bond as couples s duly strengthened and you tend to celebrate and appreciate each other’s individual differences even more.

Intellectual Intimacy in a Relationship

Intellectual intimacy involves the process of simply being able to share opinions as well as thoughts that are respected by each other. It involves an intellectual connection being shared between partners.

It ranges from having simple discussions such as favorite books, artistes, songs, sports and recreation to having controversial discussions such as issues relating to religion, politics and so on. Different views are appreciated as this sets the tone and spices up things in the relationship.

Intellectual intimacy also connotes creating a safe and enabling environment where each couple can express their vulnerability in knowledge and expression without the fear of being judged or ridiculed by the supposed more knowledgeable partner.

Recreational Intimacy in a Relationship

This entails the exploration of interests and hobbies that partners can enjoy together. By having common interests, the relationship tends to be spiced up effectively and this also goes a long way to keeping you both connected both in little activities and larger activities.

Since it entails performing of common interests, recreational intimacy has the advantage of keeping the spark alive in the relationship. Tis can be done by having fun together, going on outings, on dates, on shopping and doing a host of activities that will create bond and effective intimacy.

As humans, it is normal for us to have divergence in our ways of life. It is our individual uniqueness that makes us who we are. However, efforts should still be geared towards performing activities together as a couple. This will keep you feeling connected.

Creative Intimacy in a Relationship

This involves the planning and carrying out of activities together. As much as creative intimacy involves the ability to create special and interesting creative memories, it also entails much more. It involves making future plans, setting goals and creating bucket lists together. All these will ensure you create best versions of yourselves while having fun together.

Work Intimacy 

This entails putting in the right amount of work and energy required to ensure that the relationship functions optimally. This ranges from common household chores to taking care of the children and taking on responsibilities and plans that contributes to the betterment of your lives together.

Work intimacy entails a collective effort by both parties involved in the relationship to put in the work to ensure effectiveness. By putting in the efforts collectively as opposed to a more individualistic approach, there will be mutual respect and appreciation among couples. Hence, it is paramount that both parties put in collective efforts to ensure smooth running of the affairs in the relationship.

Commitment Intimacy

By the intentional devotion of committed efforts into ensuring that shared goals are met, as well as committing yourselves fully to the relationship, intimacy can be achieved. It could be by gearing efforts into starting a family, buying a home, starting a business or even taking up loans. Nonetheless, the willingness and readiness on the part of the couples into achieving a collective goal is decisive in forming strong intimacy between couples.

Crisis Intimacy 

In the event of crisis among couples, intimacy should also be present. When going through a major or minor crisis with your spouse, crisis intimacy comes into play through the show of support by each spouse during tough days. The desire and will to always stand by and support your partner in times of need is what connotes crisis intimacy.

When a high level of crisis intimacy is shared by partners in a relationship, there is likelihood that both partners will feel much more connected than ever. The patience and show of support by one of the party to the afflicted one will aid the healing process and in turn, strengthen the intimate bond between the parties.

Conflict Intimacy in a Relationship

No matter how perfect, serene or tranquil a relationship may seem, there is the likelihood of arguments and disagreements among parties. The inevitability of this cannot be overstated. However, the ability to handle these arguments effectively and make amends will contribute greatly to the strength of the relationship.

A major requisite to a successful long-term relationship is the ability to effectively manage conflicts. Frequent arguments without the ability to reach a resolution will lead to the eventual crumble of the relationship.  Hence, collective efforts should always be geared towards resolving existing conflicts at all times.

You also need to behave in ways and manners that impact positively to your relationship. This will lead to greater happiness and satisfaction.

Spirituality As A Form Of Intimacy

Life is full of deep meanings and extreme intricacies. Hence, the ability to connect deeper on the meaning of life entails spiritual intimacy on a grand scale. Religion is also a big aspect of our lives as humans, thus, the ability to express your individual beliefs without fear of being judged.

Communication As A Form Of Intimacy 

Communication plays a huge role to the effective workability of every relationship. It entails the ability to talk freely to one another about each other’s needs without feeling criticized or threatened.

This form of intimacy ensures healthy communication about issues in the relationship and open-minded feedback from your partner. Frequent communication is akin to ensuring a buildup of trust and deep connection.

Through active listening, communication can be significantly improved. This can be achieved by putting away any form of distractions and focusing solely on the needs and desires of your partner at all times.

How To Improve Communication Effectively In A Relationship

  • Through having face to face discussions about important topics
  • By being honest and open-minded when engaging in discussions with your partner
  • Through engaging in discussions in the right time and frame of mind
  • By avoiding verbal and aggressive outbursts regardless of the situation
  • Through the constant use of positive body language at all times

 Note that although there is no compelling need to experience all 12 types of intimacy. However, this can act as a guide to ensure intimacy in your relationship today!





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